Eating at the Y…

Oral, is it that big of a deal?!

Ummm hello?!
Yes, Yes it is!

The “science” term is, cunnilingus. The oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris.

Also known as :
carpet munching, muffin jumpin, eating out, muff diving, yodelin in the valley, face cake, tongue chow, soft like a kitty, clam lapping, lunch box, going south, eating pink tacos, beaver cleaning, eating peaches… To name a few.

I have girlfriends that can take it or leave it and I really want to take them to bed and show them what it’s all about because clearly their guy is not doing it right. Clearly they have not had their world rocked with a tongue.

I will always chose sex over oral, however it’s nice to get a lickin’ “soft like a kitty” here and there. (It’s especially nice if he gets off orally then mounts me and gives me a good deep dickin’! #yesplease

We have all had bad experiences, I think my worst (by far) when receiving oral was with Brandon… (He was young, we were young so it really wasn’t his fault, but it was still BAD).

We were in his room watching a movie and my hand was in his pants stroking his cock. It was hard and he had some pre-cum on the tip that I was playing with.

“I want to eat you out,” he tells me.

I honestly didn’t know exactly what that meant aside from his face being in my vagina.

He scooted under the covers and I slid my shorts and panties off. (Back in these days I was wearing some full briefs… Oh yes how sexy, I know).

I do not know what he was doing, there was sucking on my lips and he would pull as he sucked, he bit my clit (my vagina still hisses if he’s in a 5 mile radius of her), he was fingering me and scratched the shit out of my poor vagina. I finally called it quits.

He was so proud when he came up…

“I bet I made you cum,” he proclaimed.

“Oh yes.” Was my response when my head and vagina were screaming- “Noooooo!”

Bad oral receive take 2: the drunk

Ok so my early 20s I realized that guys did want to give oral, I was uncomfortable with it just in that it was either hit or miss as for as pleasure and enjoyment went.

I’ve experienced the drunk “eater-outer” on more than one occasion. He’s a hot mess! He can barely walk, do we really think he’s going to get us off? Make us arrive at the land of euphoria? Yea, not so much, he can barely find the toilet. I had one guy piss in the closet thinking it was the bathroom!!

Scene starts like this, you go out drinking and dancing, get frisky, I want dick, he wants to make sure I get off first, he goes down on me, he is disoriented in female anatomy and goes to town… Nothing is accomplished except now you have a frustrated female and an angry vagina!

I’ve had my fart box tongue punched (he thought he was hitting my clit), I’ve had a guy lick my outer lips (this is the equivalent to licking my armpit- its not sexy), a guy stick his tongue in me and dart it in and out (I’m not even sure what this is supposed to accomplish). I think every male and female should open an anatomy book and get to know the vagina! She’s not too complex and extremely easy to please when it comes to oral. A few licks- I prefer a stick and voila! Happy vagina!

My 30′s have brought me waaaayyy more knowledge about my vaginas likes and wants and the confidence to guide him on his travels to “clitoria” aka a happy vagina.

Guys are typically more experienced too now so there’s nothing but greatness!
My top guys would have to be,

Buck was terrific, I’m sure in the decade plus since I’ve been with him, he’s only gotten better!

Lopez, mmmm hmmm. He’s a good listener. One time it was so good I had clinched my legs around his head, it was almost like a MMA tap out, poor guy couldn’t breath, my vagina didn’t want him to stop.

Chris, he’s just intense and passionate so of course it’s going to be good. He likes to watch, make eye contact and make sure he’s pleasing me every second. (The fact that I want to lick every drop of myself off of him after just excites him even more).

As much as it kills me to say… Mr. Ostentatious, another job well done. (And that’s all the credit I’m giving him)!

As far as me going down on a girl, yes! I do thoroughly enjoy it. Something about knowing all the right things to do and making her cum and convulse and tremble.
Mmmm hmm.

I love it. I would give instructional how to’s to guys. Like go over to their house with their girl there, I’ll go down on her he can watch. She can break it down as to what she liked and loved and he would have all the tools he needed to continue to rock her world time and time again! (I may have to look into this. I would just have to have a good dickin waiting for me at home).

#39… Get an anatomy book! Educate yourself on how to make a happy vagina!

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8 thoughts on “Eating at the Y…

  1. Nothing more satisfying, eating that hot wet pussy as your chasing her across the bed because she’s goin nuts, make her cum and pound her, pussy juice dripping down your face as you both get yours. :-) :-) its so mmmmm

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